Guys Watch Out: Ten Lies Women Tell Men

Women might be mysterious when they talking, they might pass an ambiguous message to you that will be absolutely opposite what they meant. Guys! here are some common enigmatic words among women:

1. ”I’ve slept with [X] guys.” Maybe she rounds up. Maybe she rounds down. Maybe she can’t remember. Whatever the case may be, more than a few women have lied about how many sexual partners they’ve had. Maybe she feels self-conscious. Maybe her number is higher than yours. To increase the likelihood she’ll tell the truth, make her confess first.

2. “That was great.” Listen, nobody’s pointing fingers. Sometimes bad sex is a no-fault proposition. But if it’s not good for her, it’s altogether possible she may not be enlightening you on that matter. Whether she’s just not that into it tonight or she’s just not that into you, it’s hard for some women to be frank about sex, especially when the news isn’t good. Rely on her body language instead.

3. ”I have never nor would I ever cheat on you.” Cheating. Or, more specifically, lying about cheating. It’s not easy to tell someone when you’ve messed up; the fallout can be brutal. Remember: What you don’t know can spare you.

4. “I weight [X].” Here’s the thing. Women don’t lie about their weight because of you. Their reasons for doing it have everything to do with them. Not all women lie about their weight, but some do, and they do it for all kinds of reasons. Because they want to weigh less, because they want to weigh more, because they’re not sure and that number sounds about right. Women and their weight are a mysterious relationship with which you may not want to interfere. Take her word for it.

5. “Sure, you can call me.” Sometimes, when they’re face-to-face with a guy, and he’s asking us out on a first or for a second date, it’s tough to, er, woman-up and say, “You know what? Um, no.” They don’t want to be heartbreakers. They want to be nice. They’re sure you’ll get the message when they never call you back.

6. “I’ll be ready in a minute.” Listen, if before you left the house to go out on a date, you had to shower, shave half your body, slather yourself in moisturizer, apply 99 overpriced products, put on several layers of makeup, flat-iron your hair, pick out the perfect outfit that makes you look sophisticated/sexy/spectacular, it would take you a long time to get ready, too. So, wait.

7. “I don’t know.” They don’t know (ha!) if they’re going to get a lot of agreement on this one, but they are of the opinion that a lot of times when a woman says, “I don’t know,” she does, in fact, know. Women are intuitive like a nuclear power plant is radioactive, and it is upon our internal sonars that they rely. Mostly, they do know. They may not be ready to tell you.

8. “That was delicious!:” If you cooked, they don’t care how it tastes. They will tell you they love it. Love us for that.

9. “I’m fine:” They’re going to go out on a limb here and suggest this is the single most common lie told by women to men. Or, you know, at the very least it’s the lie they’ve told most often to men. They are emotional creatures! Sometimes, they get upset! Maybe it’s because our Aries is in your Venus, maybe it’s because they got promoted at work and they’re scared as hell about living up to our own lofty goals, or maybe they’re in a mood. It’s up to you to figure out if you want to walk into our minefield or keep a safe distance away. Usually, your best bet is listening.

“10. It was on sale:” It wasn’t. Deal with it.