We have been married for 10yrs now, during which I stopped going out and cut off my friends. All I do is work, clean, children, shop and sleep. In this 10yrs, my husband has lived like a bachelor.
At first, I fought him for this because I wanted attention and to be loved
but with time I withdrew emotionally and this got to the bédroom.
Things got so bad that I feel like crying whenever he wants to have séx with me because it would be brutal, as if it's a blué film. We don't do it often, but whenever he wants it, the thought of having séx with him was very irritating.
However, irrespective of my feelings, for peace sake, I'd do it sometimes half drunk. Despite my efforts to endure all these, he would insult me, beat me, even in front of my mum on several occasions. But I endured because as a father to my 3 young children he is father of the century so I kept saying it will be selfish for me to leave the marriage.
The kids need their daddy because he is a good father but I don't want him because he is not a good husband, he doesn't satisfy me in anyway... either in the bédroom or other dealings as couple. But I kept putting my kids needs first, to my own detriment...
The issue is...... when I celebrated my 40th birthday, my husband did not really care or plan to take me anywhere which did not bother me. Over the years, I have learnt to start focusing my joy on other things so I have been really happy. On the weekend of my bday, a male colleague at work invited me to lunch as a birthday treat and also thank me for being there when he was going through his divorce.
So I asked my husband if it was okay to go since this was on Saturday. He said its fine because he knew the man and knows the guy was just a friend, so for the first time of my 10yrs marriage, I went out.
Surprising, when I came back, he started calling me all kinds of names. I was shocked because he had never been that jealous - because he believed no man was going to be interested in me as I have stopped taking care of myself. That nite he beat me up mercilessly and I decided enough was enough!
That day I moved out of the house. He never believed I could do that becos he knew how much I loved my kids..... but to his greatest shock I did it. It's been 5 months now since I left, and I can say my life has changed. I get help financially from family. But sadly, life for him has been miserable without a partner, a companion, someone to make me feel like a woman in the bedroom.
Now he too is crying everyday that he wants me to come back home. The kids want us to come back together. Strangely, now that I'm now even living with him, I see him more. He stopped going out and wants to spend all his spare time with me.
Am confused becos I kind of love my life right now; other 'good' men are already showing interest in me. I'm missing séx so so much and anything can happen. I am still young and very séxy. I know am not a saint in all these because I am stubborn with a bad mouth sometimes. Please I want peoples views on this.
Give me your candid opinion. How can I go back to a man who makes lové to me violéntly (even thou I enjoy it sometimes)? I still feel irritated sometimes whenever I imagine him on mé. Why cant I just remain a single mother?
What do I have to loose if I remain on my own? Please be sincere with me.
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